To CA and Back

Well, it could be too early to really tell, but Evan MIGHT like Annie! At least a little bit...last week, I caught him reading books to her when she was crying, and then right before we left for California, I caught this moment on film:

This is the approach--checking her out and deciding what to do

He comes in for a closer look, still a little aloof

And now acceptance and a peace offering--Mike and Ike's candy.
Luckily, she didn't take any candy, but I don't think that will be the last time she is offered a forbidden item by one of her brothers.

Annie isn't exempt from any of the acrobatics Jeremy subjects our (willing) children to...but I think he's definitely gentler with her.



We were planning a trip to California while Jeremy went to Atlanta to visit his brother and hear evangelist and apologist Ravi Zacharias and teen heart throb Kirk Cameron speak (I just think it's a funny combination). When I told Evan it was time to pack (after his bath), he got excited and put on his backpack ("packback") and rushed to the door.

My mom flew out and drove with me to California. We were fine except for the fact that Sam peed his pants within the first 45 minutes of the trip (succeeded by 3 more emergency potty stops on the side of the road...where does he store it all?) and Evan's meltdown in the Kingman Burger King. Our first day in CA, we went to our friends' house in San Clemente. Their backyard is the beach. Nice.





My kids love playing with Grandpa. Evan calls him "Campaw", which is cute. Campaw made them this crane...I'm sure he was teaching Sam the proper physics principles with it when I wasn't watching. And I bet Sam was using it to crash and destroy stuff when Grandpa wasn't watching.

I took a picture of "Campaw" in an unusual moment when the kids weren't trying to play with him.

He's so tired, he just fell asleep on the floor. I used to feel sorry for him that he only had daughters. Now maybe I see that he would have a lot more gray hair if he had had boys. I can feel mine turning gray many days while taking care of those busy guys. He had some good sweet moments with Annie, too--she always calms down and falls asleep with him.

And with Grandma, too.

My cousin Jenny and her husband Jon came to visit and fell in love with my sister's dog (I wasn't offended because they complimented my kids first).

Here's Evan eating a chocolate chip cookie while swimming--two of my favorite things to do, just not usually together. I don't think the old "wait half-an-hour" rule applies to a wading pool.
We tried to take some family portraits. This one finally worked:

This one not so much:

We had a birthday party for me with my old gang from high school...it's hard to talk with so many little ones between us!


(I love how kids act around cupcakes...you can practically see them salivating)

The boys sleep in tents while at my parents' house. I don't think Evan will fit in his for much longer. Sam always wants to zip the whole thing up and comes out soaking wet with sweat in the morning.


The drive back to Flagstaff would have been great (Sam wore a pull-up the whole time, lesson learned), except that Sam got a horrible toothache. Now we are dealing with dentist/orthodontist appointments around town and maxing Sam out on pain meds until he can get a pulp extraction to save a dying tooth. Yuck! The boys were so good at the 90 min. dentist appointment...entertained the whole time by 2 cars and a nursing cover that doubles as a superhero costume (oh, and Sponge Bob blared in the background on the t.v. but they weren't too interested...yay!)

Fearful and Wonderful

It seems that the last few weeks of life in the Lundgren household has been full of emotions: the ups and downs of dealing with little sleep and 2 preschoolers + a new baby, dealing with conflict and hurt feelings, the excitement of preparing for a new MOPS year, the strain of Jeremy's new seminary schedule (2 whole days in Phoenix followed by a long work day=frazzled mother and 2 kids desparately in need of a "wrastle" with Daddy), and just yesterday the added fun of another fried cell phone for me. But, the strongest emotional experience has been the death of a friend's baby and the resulting lessons/struggles/fears/thankfulness that I feel because of it.

Some of you remember that I wrote about visiting a friend, Tanya, in the NICU in Phoenix after her baby had been born at 28 weeks with some serious health problems. Baby Leah passed away last week and we went to her funeral last night here in Flagstaff. She was 5 months old.

Tanya and I had been pregnant together--I think her due date was just 6 weeks ahead of mine. Our church secretary is close to both Tanya and I and was so excited for both of our babies--always talking about us to each other and comparing our belly sizes (oh, a pregnant lady's favorite topic of conversation: analysis of her belly size :)). When we heard that Tanya was having complications and had to have a C-section at 28 weeks, we were shocked, especially because this was a surprise pregnancy for Tanya and Rob (their other 2 kids are in 6th and 9th grades) and it had taken some getting used to--and now this?! Leah was airlifted to Phoenix because of some health problems.

In the following weeks, we would hear updates on baby Leah and Tanya, who was now basically living at the hospital in Phoenix while her husband and 2 kids continued life in Flagstaff. Some updates were encouraging, and others discouraging. I was at Tanya's close friend's house when Tanya called to say Leah was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis...what? This new setback on top of everything else? We cried and prayed with Tanya. Leah endured multiple surgeries, breathing treatments, and had lots of scary times of not breathing, but always seemed to pull through. At the time Tanya was enduring all of this, I was setting up Annie's nursery and getting ready for her arrival. I spent a lot of time thinking about the Buckley's situation and realizing that nothing is promised in life except that God is faithful. I couldn't imagine setting up a nursery and getting baby things ready and then not being able to bring home your baby, but I kept just having to put my fears in God's hands.

Jeremy and I had a few opportunities to visit Tanya and Leah in the hospital. Each time, I was overwhelmed with the medical issues they had to deal with. But, at the same time, I was so touched by the love and commitment Tanya showed to that little baby. She just lived for the moments she got to hold Leah, and I saw her be so proactive in helping the nurses and cleaning up Leah's bed and making sure she had everything just right. I saw the heartbreak on Tanya's face when a curt nurse informed her that her first skin-to-skin holding session had to be cut short because of the nurses' shift change. I heard doctors come in and deal devastating blows in casual conversation..."Leah's lungs are the worst I've seen in all my years of practice", etc. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be a mother and hear those words...I knew how thankful and proud I would feel when the doctors would tell me that Annie's heartbeat was great or that she must be smart because she was already head down--mothers love hearing "praise" of their baby. I just couldn't imagine how Tanya could keep such a good attitude. After one doctor said that Tanya should prepare herself for the future, to "not get so upset", she turned to me while stroking Leah's hair and said, "What else am I supposed to do? She's here and she's alive. I HAVE to fight for her. I'm her mother!" To me, watching what the Buckley family sacrificed for baby Leah was evidence of us not being the mere result of a biological accident (evolution) but creatures designed in the image of a loving God. How else could someone love a helpless little baby who required so much except for the fact that God loves us in the same way and he put that quality inside of us. It was so touching at the funeral to hear the family talk about what a blessing Leah was to them, not just how much they blessed her by caring and fighting for her.

There were so many touching moments at the service last night...just seeing the tiny pink casket, hearing the words of a mom whose baby was next to Leah in the NICU and had become close friends with Tanya, and the slideshow that showed pictures of the family on a blanket outside of the hospital in the last hours of Leah's life (she had never been outside before that)--eyes red with tears but smiling and talking to her...I could imagine all the love they were giving her and the last words a mother would say to her dying baby. I was touched when Tanya hugged me afterward and said there were some things that they had bought for Leah that she wanted me to have. I was relieved that the whole family is back together at home again (well, that's the bittersweetness--it's not the whole family anymore, Leah will always be missed). I thought our pastor handled the service well, sharing about how death entered the world and how good God is even in situations like this. One my favorite things he said was a story he told about a couple that had lost a young child and was struggling even a year later to deal with their grief. They decided to go on a trip to the holy lands to get away and try to find some perspective. While on a bus tour in the countryside, they saw a shepherd trying to get a flock of sheep across a ditch. The sheep weren't budging, so the shepherd went and picked up a lamb and put it on the other side of the ditch. Immediately, the mother jumped across and the rest of the flock followed. The man turned to his wife and said, "We can go home now. I understand. God took our little lamb to be with Him, so that our hearts would follow in that direction." God is so good!

Ever since this situation happened, I have been thinking about how the Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. The human body is so intricate and health problems are so devastating, and yet even little Leah had a purpose and gave reason to praise God. And the fierce love of Tanya and all the Buckleys is more evidence of how wonderfully made we are! Here is a picture of someone else who is fearfully and wonderfully made.


The day I heard that Leah wasn't going to make it, I couldn't stop watching the miracle of Annie breathing in and out. And last night, I held her for a long time, thanking God for His goodness to me and to the Buckleys. One time while visiting Tanya, I asked if it was hard for her to spend day after day in that tiny room with no t.v. or computer or anything. She said, "I've never known how much longer I will get to hold her, so I truly enjoy every minute of it." Isn't that the truth for all of us?

This morning, we changed gears from sadness and contemplation to...the Demolition Derby. I was glad I wasn't the one driving home because I was tempted to crash the car into things after watching all that excitement!

The Not-Just-About-Annie Post

Well, it's official--Annie is cute and we're in love. Everyone except Evan, that is. Sam has taken to calling her "Nannie" which sounds a little nasal and isn't my favorite nickname, but we'll see if it sticks. Racoony didn't stick as Evan's nickname for too long. Here is a picture of Annie, whom I've begun calling "Miss Girl" because the other pet names that were coming out of my mouth were Bubba and Buddy and the like...I had to retrain myself.
Here's her cute nursery...sorry boys, you didn't get your own "nursery" when each of you were babies, you just got a corner of Mom and Dad's room because we were in one bedroom apartments when you were born.

I like hanging out in Annie's room...it is so new and fresh and girly (though the boys still choose it as their favorite wrestle spot so there are always fresh grubby footprints on the walls, and they are not respectful of the proper positioning of throw pillows).

I think I ended my last post with Jeremy's family's visit. The last day they were here, Jeremy took his dad and the boys to watch the Cardinals practice--that's kind of a big deal here in this "small" town. I guess it's good for business...but not good for driving downtown with all the tourists going the wrong way on one way streets and creeping around going 15 mph. My parents didn't even get to go to their favorite BBQ restaurant due to avoiding the tourists.
My kids had a lot of fun with my parents, and I think we wore them out!
Jeremy went on his mountain bike trip to Whistler and managed to not break any major body or bike parts.
Sam and I planted corn and sunflower seeds together in the garden earlier this summer. I kind of gave up on the garden after Annie was born, but my dad gave it lots of TLC while he was here and the corn actually grew ears (that sounds weird)and the sunflowers bloomed. Here's a pic of them and of Sam enjoying his own organic corn on the cob...he didn't seem to care that the corn was only a few inches long.

On the day of the enormous corn harvest, we saw Annie sleeping like this:
Not comfortable, but still cute.

Sam and Evan have finally become good playmates--I think mostly out of necessity. I feel bad about having less time to actually play with them, but feel good about them liking each other and learning to entertain themselves. Here we are in a rare moment together playing superheros and the mommy fairy (my cape was Annie's nursing cover).


I've been feeling a little emotional at times lately...go figure. One was a sweet moment when Sam got all dressed to walk to the library with Grandpa. They left together, Sam looking like this:
and a little while later I decided to go to the store. As I was driving down the street, I saw a man and a cute little boy walking hand in hand and I admired how cute and sweet they looked, and then realized in my rearview mirror that it was my guys! I got a little choked up and proud.

This weekend, I took the boys to an Arts and Music Festible (that's how Sam says it) downtown and the boys bypassed the bounce houses and free candy to stand in line for balloon animals. Almost an hour later, we were still in the line (the lady behind me was offering to pay $40 for a balloon animal at that point) but Sam and Evan would not be deterred from the mission of getting a balloon. We finally got to the front and the boys got matching balloon swords. I lectured them about NOT BREAKING or LOSING them because we WERE NOT going to stand in that line again. A few minutes later, Evan tripped and fell down, popping his balloon. His cry, "It bwoken, it bwoken" was enough to make me almost lose it...I hate being the mommy in those moments! I was sad enough to almost agree to get in line again, but Samuel gave me his balloon for safe keeping and somehow, it popped. Though sad, I was relieved because now they were even and I could just promise to give them balloons at home or something. Luckily, they got distracted by fencing with their sucker sticks
(sound effect: "Ching, ching, (drool), ching, ching, chang") and hula hoops.

Then, silly mommy had the idea the next night of going to Lake Mary. The kids would probably have been fine just hanging out at home, but I think I wanted to prove that I could still go on an outing and be relaxed with 3 kids now. We took ice cream in a cooler and watched the sun set into the smoke from a forest fire. The boys decided to go into the water and each lost a croc (shoe) in the mud on the bottom. I threatened, "I'm not coming out there to find them!" and then caved in and went digging in the mud because I couldn't bear to lose their favorite shoes (that only cost $3 each). I found one of Evan's, but Sam's was too far gone. I felt like crying over those silly shoes because the boys loved them so much, even though they weren't upset themselves. I kept craning my head to look back at the lake as we drove away, hoping it would have floated to the surface. I even woke up the next morning and started thinking about driving back out there...all for a silly imitation croc. Some day I will feel normal again, right?


Well, I hope to post more often, but this was the first real chance I had to sit down and think. And I think I did pretty good for typing most of this with only one hand!

The "Annie" Post

Baby Annie is finally here!
The timeline of events between these two pictures was as follows:
--July 23rd: Walking to the park, cleaning the house ferociously (for the 4th time in 2 weeks), reviewing the gameplan of going to the hospital, watching The Office and 30 Rock, going to bed depressed and impatient
--July 24th: due date, disappointed to be waking with no contractions, cleaning, walking, being grumpy, driving up the bumpiest dirt road to the top of Mt. Elden, climbing (and squatting) on rocks with the kids in the forest, reviewing the gameplan, watching "New In Town"
--July 25th: waking up with no contractions (ugh), going to the birthday party we thought we wouldn't be going to, staring at each other and sighing, driving to 9,000 feet elevation and hiking, watching "Son of Rambow," reviewing the hospital gameplan
--July 26th: Church (which I didn't want to go to because I had planned out how many maternity outfits I had left to wear and was out of options), a burst of energy and cleaning (could it be tonight???), a walk in the hood, watching "A Flash of Genius"
--July 27th: No contractions, "What are we going to do today?," all of us going to storytime at the library, shopping, and the mall for lunch (can you tell we were desparate? Even Jeremy was up for this agenda!), cooking a dinner that I hadn't planned on having to cook, walking up and down every hill in the neighborhood, watching "Little Miss Sunshine," reviewing the gameplan
--July 28th: Grumpy with Jeremy all morning while sleeping, waking up to realize it was because I was having contractions (hurray!), went to the park with the family, watching Stuart Little with the family while sitting on Sam's bouncy ball in front of the fan, contractions still 10+ min. apart at 2 pm, calling Mariah (friend/birth coach) to say nothing was really happening, cleaned up for Mother-in-law and sis-in-law's arrival, planned another walk with Jeremy--while he was getting ready (2:45) I suddenly felt like bursting into tears and the contractions started coming 2 min. apart, called Mariah to come, left for hospital at 3:55, got into a bed (while the room was restocked around us) by 4:20ish, had her at 5:30!

She weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz., was 21 inches long and has a big head. Well, that doesn't sound very complimentary, but it gets me some sympathy points. I was surprised to see her thick, dark hair...I guess I might have been a little presumptuous to buy 2 dolls with blond hair for her.

Here's our welcoming committee (the boys weren't allowed to come to the hospital because of the "Swine Flu Epidemic!!!" (note the sarcasm). I guess Sam announced that his sister was born in the restaurant he was at with Gamma when they got the call--some friends were there and heard him shouting.


Gamma and Aunt Stacey made shirts with the boys while we were at the hospital and they wore them for 2 days straight.

Their reactions have been different to Annie--here's Sam playing with baby Annie:

Here's Evan playing with baby Annie:

We've had a lot of visitors--some even bringing yummy goodies like banana bread and Coldstone ice cream. Some of them couldn't stop kissing Annie.

We wiped her down with antibacterial soap afterward...just kidding. I'll post some more pictures when she ever decides to open her eyes and join the world!

By the way, her middle name is Lynne (spelled correctly with an "e")...it is my sister and my aunt's middle name. But if she wants to go by Annie Cookie Star later in life, it is okay with me.