Who Is Evan?

Sam has now been gone for a week and a half. He went with his Tucson Grandparents to Atlanta to visit his cousins. He'll be back on the 31st...just in time to wear the Spiderman costume I scored for him at a church rummage sale for $2 an hour before I was going to go to Target to buy him a Transformer's mask for $8. And, in the process of buying him the Spiderman costume, a friend offered to give me some of her sons' old costumes...she asked what my boys liked and I said, "Bad guys" because I knew that's what Sam would say if he was there.

Since he's been gone, I have gotten to know Evan a little bit better. Here's some things I have learned about him or done with him in Sam's absence:

--Evan is a sloppy-talker. He has been talking to us a lot more with Sam gone because, well, Sam sure talks a lot when he is here. Sometimes I am amazed at how much Evan sounds like Sam, but have also noticed some unique things he says, like: "Afferday" (which means "later"); "Some lots" (which means "Give me a lot of whatever it is I want, like 'Please have some lots of juice'"); when asked if he wants, let's say, milk or water, he says, "Or...milk!" (he always includes the or); he says "Mine Jeremy" when Jeremy is not around ("Where's mine Jeremy?"); also "ou bout (how about) DAT one!" Ou bout is probably his most used phrase; things are "mines" or "thems"; and just yesterday he has started saying, "Need to fussin'" when he wants to cry or complain about something. He was asking us for "Jello-pillow" the other day...we finally figured out he meant marshmallows.

--He is actually more welcoming and hospitable than I had noticed before. The Schwan's delivery man (in his 40's, at least) came to the door to try to sell us some stuff and Evan got all consternated that Jeremy was just standing at the door talking to him. He kept pulling on my leg and saying, "Dat boy needs come in here, okay?" Also, my Uncle and Aunt came to visit from Hawaii and he was very friendly with them...he called my aunt "Aunt Grandma" and wanted to only hold Uncle Jim's hand (he has always like men better than women). (though he did say about my uncle "Don't let that boy eat my cer-e-old (cereal)!")

--He is still a little snobby toward his little sister. Here is an interaction we had:
Me: "Did you know that when you were a little baby like Annie, Sam helped take care of you and gave you lots of kisses?"
Evan: (ignores me)
Me: "Evan, do you love Annie"
Evan: (ignores me)
Me: "Evan, isn't Annie sweet?"
Evan: "Can I have a candy?"

(Notice in this picture...see how she is reaching out for him but he is giving her the cold shoulder? That pretty much sums it up)

The other day, he bumped into my knee under my nursing cover and said, "It Annie's head?" I said no, thinking he was trying to be cautious about bumping her, and then he touched my shoulder and said "Dat Annie's head?" and I said no and showed where her head was and then he...punched her head. And then time out happened, but he still seemed a little smug.

--He is a poop-withholder. When successfully potty-training Sam, I would hear stories of friends' kids who refused to poop on the potty and would hold it until they were given a diaper at night or their ever-vigilant parents looked away for a moment. I felt a little smug myself that Sam wasn't one of these...I still have a cute message saved on my phone when he called from Grandma's house to say he had pooped in the potty (why do parents cherish things like that? so strange!). Now, I feel like I won a bad lottery...I have one of THOSE kids who won't perform no matter how many ice creams, trips to the pet store, trips to the Aquaplex, new toys, special videos, chances to blow out a candle are offered (for some reason, blowing out a candle was very motivating to him one day). Here is a picture of us one morning when we were locked in the bathroom for 2.5 hours with no pants on (Evan, not me) waiting for him to have to go. Notice the thank you notes on the floor that I STILL haven't gotten done.
He did it once that morning and then 2 more times that day in his pants. I aborted the whole project and feel much better about life. I guess he won. I concede defeat in exchange for less laundry.

It's funny how quickly the novelty of having one less child around wore off. I was like, "I can go to the store and do everything I want, this is going to be so easy with just 2 kids" and then Evan sat in the grocery cart cracking eggs through the cart onto the floor (Heard on the intercom as we made our way through the store "Clean up on Aisle 6. Clean up on Aisle 7.") until someone alerted me to what he was doing. Then, while unpacking the groceries, he threw his juice all over them...I think that was the worst place to have thrown it--I hate sticky plastic bags and trying to wipe off every item inside the bags...ugh!

But, we have had some sweet moments together that probably would have been overshadowed by Sam if he had been here. We shared watermelon together and had fun together at our youth group retreat this weekend.


I'm sure he's thinking "Too bad that BABY is still here getting in the way." That BABY, by the way, is just really cute!
Here she is in her swing:
I am finding that I am more concerned about her fashion than my own, lately. I remember worrying that her outfit in the above picture didn't match well enough...and we didn't even go anywhere that day!

Despite my best intentions to use my time effectively, my floors are still dirty and my car still looks like a homeless person's, but I am enjoying this time with Evan and Annie, and I know I will really appreciate Sam when he gets back from his long trip. And, I wouldn't have been able to have such a good time with Jeremy at the youth group retreat this weekend with 3 kids instead of 2.
Now I think I smell a stinky diaper from the stinker so I better go change it. Yuck..

CAKE! and the Nature of Memories

I'm not going to start posting recipes here because I have lots of friends(jessieheaviland.blogspot.com) who do it much better than me, but I HAVE to share this recipe. It is my new best friend...I mean favorite (I don't find emotional comfort in chocolate, really). It is from the Betty Crocker cookbook I got when I got married. Here it is:

Double Chocolate Snack Cake

1 2/3 cups flour
1 cup brown sugar or white sugar (I use brown or mix half and half)
1/4 cup baking cocoa
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. white vinegar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips (optional)
Powdered sugar (optional)

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix flour, brown sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt with a fork in ungreased square pan, 8x8x2 inches. Stir in remaining ingredients except choc. chips and powdered sugar. Sprinkle choc. chips over batter.
3. Bake 35-40 minuntes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan on wire rack. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.
4. Don't eat it all at once!

That last instruction I added for my own sake. None of you would actually do that. Okay, but because of my disclaimer about not posting recipes, you absolutely have to try this one! It is so good and sooo easy! I have made it 4 times in the last 2 weeks (blushing slightly)...don't worry, 2 times were for birthdays and one was for company. I have made it as cupcakes (excellent--I left out the choc. chips and only cooked them for about 18 min.), I usually double it and have replaced half the oil with applesauce and reduced the sugar and they still turn out great. It doesn't sink in the middle, which is good for a recipe at high altitude. Oh, and I don't mix them directly in the pan because I don't think that washing ONE bowl is that big of a deal. I have started using more recipes with cocoa and less with chocolate chips since Jeremy's grandmother pointed out how much more cost effective it is to use cocoa. These have just a few choc. chips, so they last longer (or there are more for me to eat by the handful when the kids aren't looking).

Here is a picture of Evan enjoying the chocolate cake in cupcake form.
See, he is a chip off the old block--getting drunk on chocolate.

In other news, I had been second-guessing my decision to not to put Sam in any kind of school this year. Here's a downside to having 3 kids at home together all day:


Here's the upside:


And this:


It is so fun watching Sam and Evan become such good friends. I think it shows what is special between siblings...they are best friends and often don't know it. It might take them a long time to recognize it, but they are one of God's best gifts to each other. I have one of those gifts, too.
(Check out the wallpaper behind us. Yes, that's my room and I had that wallpaper up until I got married. That's why you don't let a junior higher choose their own wallpaper.)


So, I am sad that Samuel isn't at school with his friends and has to be in the lower age Sunday School class at church, but in the long run, I think it is better for him and Evan to be closer in school and have mutual friends. I'm tempted to be the pushy mom and try to get special permission for him to do the things the kindergartners are doing, but I think I will sit back and see what happens.

Another upside to having all the kids home together was having a morning like we had yesterday. It was nothing extraordinary...it was rainy and started with a dentist's appointment for Sam, but then we decided to go for a drive until the library opened. We talked a lot in the car and went past where we used to live when Sam was 2. We stopped and picked apples at the apple tree that he used to play under and shared memories. (The tree seemed to be growing well after Sam's watering over 2 years ago. He's was potty training, wet pants were the only other option.)
(On the grass outside our old apartment)

We went on to the library and saw a friend from college, a church friend, and some MOPS friends. It reminded me of an old Girl Scouts song about old and new friends being like silver and gold. We were having such a nice time, we stayed for storytime. We even found a book about a little girl with BROWN hair named Annie. Evan carefully carried it all the way to the car. I felt really blessed.

I suppose these events aren't really worth reporting...and they actually sound more exciting in the retelling (picking apples, for example, was looking for apples in the tree and then realizing they were all too high to reach, so we (I) found some good ones on the ground). But, I guess that's the nature of good memories. I think they grow more "good" in your mind over time, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's why my boys enjoy going to the library so much. They don't remember the times we left early because someone pooped their pants or that I was impatient with them because I just wanted to sit on the chair and read a magazine. They love telling their Grandmas and Grandpas on the phone what they did that day, and only then do I often realize how special the time really was.

So, I guess that's why I write this blog entry with (literally) 6 piles of laundry and an unpacked suitcase in the house. I don't want to forget these ordinary memories, and I want to record them so they can grow more golden over time. I wish there was a way to record in writing the wonderful sound of the giggles I heard coming from the bathtub earlier this evening. I'll just have to treasure that one in my heart.

Rotten Teeth & Rotten Smells

Sam's tooth extraction was short and went well...I think he even helped the dentist pull it out! He brought it home in an envelope and we'll do tooth fairy tonight! He got a little funny feeling in the car...I think he thought he was going to throw up. He said "I don't think we can go anywhere today, Mom" I'm glad I decided to go to the store and get pain medicine and a movie BEFORE we went. Oh, he wore his sunglasses the entire time at the dentist, but forgot the lamb he was going to take to hold. He keeps wanting to go look at his "golden" in the mirror (I keep telling him the spacer is silver but he wants to call it gold). He played a joke on the dentist by putting his rotten teeth on when he got called back--it was totally his idea. We go back next week to get some cavities taken care of. I hope he's not afraid of the dentist after this!

Through this experience I have learned:

--You can double up on Motrin AND Tylenol at the same time. Very important information for a mom to know when her child is crying constantly and can't be comforted. There are little sticky medicine dosing cups all over our house now.

--I'm not the worst mom in the world for letting Sam get cavities...lots of friends had stories to share that made me feel better. Thanks, friends.

--It's hard to be an adult, but this was another lesson in asking questions and trusting my instinct. I am realizing that all professionals are just people like me. Even medical professionals have to trust their instincts, and some have better instincts than others. And some are better at getting things right the first time than others. We dealt with both. (sigh)

--I'm getting old...the dentist was definitely younger than me and had actually been to MOPS before. And, in an unrelated incident, I was called an "older woman" this week. (big sigh)

--For as much of a cry-er Sam can be, he does really well when he needs to act grown up. I am proud of him!

Last night, while getting ready to send Evan to Phoenix with Jeremy to spend the night with Jeremy's parents (in Tucson), a skunk sprayed right outside our bedroom window. There are few times I have seen Jeremy so animated...shutting windows, opening them, setting up fans, hunting around with a flashlight. It was pretty stinky in our house...the kind of stink you can taste. It's not a good taste. I remember that my sister used to like a skunk scratch-n-sniff sticker that we had when we were kids. She also liked the smell of gasoline. Anyways, Jeremy and I slept in Annie's room (which actually smelled like stinky diapers because of the diaper champ that is definitely not as odorless as it brags to be). The boys slept the night away (in their room that smells a little like pee, no matter how many times I wash the sheets/comforters/matress pads) without knowing anything.

I did some work in the yard this weekend, since I let everything die since Annie was born. I am proud of these marigolds that God grew from my grandma's seeds I planted...well, more like scattered really quick one day. She always had marigolds around the porch of her house at the ranch in Utah and harvested the seeds. I am going to try to see if I can save some seeds to keep the tradition going.


Here are some pictures of us having a cook-out in the backyard the night before last (before our yard was taken over by skunks--who dug up the new shrubs I planted, by the way. I wish I had a BB gun.). I guess it's the closest we'll have come to camping as a family this summer. I tried to get Jeremy to set up the tent on the grass for the boys to play with...but he talked me out of it (another sigh). In the end, I was glad we didn't because it probably would have been me trying to dismantle it the next morning, and a skunk would have probably taken up residence in it and we would have had to throw it away (and I would have had to take a bath in tomato juice).





And here's Annie 'cause she's cute. I have a feeling she'll get away with a lot around this house for that reason.

To CA and Back

Well, it could be too early to really tell, but Evan MIGHT like Annie! At least a little bit...last week, I caught him reading books to her when she was crying, and then right before we left for California, I caught this moment on film:

This is the approach--checking her out and deciding what to do

He comes in for a closer look, still a little aloof

And now acceptance and a peace offering--Mike and Ike's candy.
Luckily, she didn't take any candy, but I don't think that will be the last time she is offered a forbidden item by one of her brothers.

Annie isn't exempt from any of the acrobatics Jeremy subjects our (willing) children to...but I think he's definitely gentler with her.



We were planning a trip to California while Jeremy went to Atlanta to visit his brother and hear evangelist and apologist Ravi Zacharias and teen heart throb Kirk Cameron speak (I just think it's a funny combination). When I told Evan it was time to pack (after his bath), he got excited and put on his backpack ("packback") and rushed to the door.

My mom flew out and drove with me to California. We were fine except for the fact that Sam peed his pants within the first 45 minutes of the trip (succeeded by 3 more emergency potty stops on the side of the road...where does he store it all?) and Evan's meltdown in the Kingman Burger King. Our first day in CA, we went to our friends' house in San Clemente. Their backyard is the beach. Nice.





My kids love playing with Grandpa. Evan calls him "Campaw", which is cute. Campaw made them this crane...I'm sure he was teaching Sam the proper physics principles with it when I wasn't watching. And I bet Sam was using it to crash and destroy stuff when Grandpa wasn't watching.

I took a picture of "Campaw" in an unusual moment when the kids weren't trying to play with him.

He's so tired, he just fell asleep on the floor. I used to feel sorry for him that he only had daughters. Now maybe I see that he would have a lot more gray hair if he had had boys. I can feel mine turning gray many days while taking care of those busy guys. He had some good sweet moments with Annie, too--she always calms down and falls asleep with him.

And with Grandma, too.

My cousin Jenny and her husband Jon came to visit and fell in love with my sister's dog (I wasn't offended because they complimented my kids first).

Here's Evan eating a chocolate chip cookie while swimming--two of my favorite things to do, just not usually together. I don't think the old "wait half-an-hour" rule applies to a wading pool.
We tried to take some family portraits. This one finally worked:

This one not so much:

We had a birthday party for me with my old gang from high school...it's hard to talk with so many little ones between us!


(I love how kids act around cupcakes...you can practically see them salivating)

The boys sleep in tents while at my parents' house. I don't think Evan will fit in his for much longer. Sam always wants to zip the whole thing up and comes out soaking wet with sweat in the morning.


The drive back to Flagstaff would have been great (Sam wore a pull-up the whole time, lesson learned), except that Sam got a horrible toothache. Now we are dealing with dentist/orthodontist appointments around town and maxing Sam out on pain meds until he can get a pulp extraction to save a dying tooth. Yuck! The boys were so good at the 90 min. dentist appointment...entertained the whole time by 2 cars and a nursing cover that doubles as a superhero costume (oh, and Sponge Bob blared in the background on the t.v. but they weren't too interested...yay!)