Our Golden Eagles (School Stuff)

The kids were in their 3rd school play; this time it was Alice in Wonderland.  The boys were animals (some sort of ninja turtle but not the teenage mutant kind/some sort of furry creature) in the first act and playing cards in the second.  Annie was a lovely rose, and then she had the confidence to raise her hand when they asked who was little and could do a somersault, so she became a scene-stealing tumbling hedgehog with all sorts of sass.  I wish I had a video of her performance and the audience's delight.  All 3 kids did so well, even though Evan threatened to quit a few times.

Sam read the YA version of Unbroken and loved it...he did a presentation in class and got 101%.  He made us nervous the night before because of his lackadaisical attitude towards preparing for the presentation, then he nailed it in class.  Little (actually not-so-little) stinker.  Made me proud.

He's wearing my dad's Vietnam-era uniform.  Sorry, Dad, he keeps accidentally telling everyone that you were in WWII.

Sam had to make a timeline of Louie Zamperini's life, so he used a world map to show the extent of his "travels."  What an amazing life!  Sam wanted to watch the movie but we didn't think it would be appropriate, but then I heard an ad on the radio for a family-friendly version put out by Harvest (Greg Laurie) so we ordered it and watched it with some of our students.

Sam's presentation was for a program called Golden Eagle University, in which the kids read books of their choosing and complete projects towards degrees: first a Bachelor's, then a Master's and some even completed PhD's.  Sam somehow managed to complete a PhD, even though I thought we were going to kill each other during the Bachelor's.

Bachelor's graduation

Master's and PhD graduation

We got an invitation to an awards assembly at school for Evan a few weeks ahead of the event.  This kid keeps us on our toes...a perfect mixture of sweetness and slyness. He didn't know he was getting an award and started having some behavior issues at school, which made me nervous. But thankfully, we made it to the assembly date with no major consequences and he seemed to finish the year well.  Phew!  It will be interesting to see what his academic career looks like as things get more rigorous...he is very bright but has different academic strengths than Sam.  He never once complained or put off doing homework this year.  He gets right to it and is very organized.  And luckily, he didn't cut any girl's hair in class this year.  Hopefully that's behind us.  Yep, true confessions!

Evan and his teacher, Mrs. Patrick.  She has sons, so she likes pesky boys--I'm glad!

Open House at the kids' school,  Sam's teacher is so fun...she let the kids turn their desks into covered wagons, use cereal boxes to create an Electric City (complete with working lights), and got funding for a Lego Robotics program that they used all year in class.

It was such a gift for the kids to be at their same school this year, even though we moved out of the district.  I don't know if I ever shared the story of how, after we moved, I was continually getting a negative response on my inquiries about the likelihood of them getting approved for a transfer, and how I was tempted to just say we still lived with my parents.  I decided (i.e. was convicted) to go about it the honest way and just felt so bad that the kids might have to switch schools, knowing that we might be moving at the end of this year again.  Well, it got down to the day before kindergarten meet-n-greet and I still hadn't heard for sure.  I prayed so much, even telling my close friends, "God can do it, even though it seems so unlikely."  I called the school in the afternoon and was told no, and then right before the secretary was going to hang up (which was delayed by me starting to cry), she said (in a surprised voice) , "Wait, the principal wants to talk to you."  The principal spoke in a way that made it sound like she knew about our situation and was willing to help, put me on hold, and within 5 minutes, had made a call to the district and got us in.  Turns out, my mom had gone to lunch 2 hours earlier and had ended up sitting at the table next to the staff from our school, including Evan's former teacher (who happened to be sitting next to the principal).  She asked about Evan and if we had moved and my mom explained our whole situation, with the principal listening.  Can you believe it?  It was an amazing "coincidence," and we've been thankful for it all year.  Each kid seemed to have a class that suited them well--Sam's was so creative and energetic, Evan's was organized and he knew exactly what was expected of him, and Annie's was so sweet--and even though we got in literally the first day of kindergarten, she ended up with her closest friend, Paulina (and she got to continue the legacy of being the 4th person in our family within the last 35 years to be in the same kindergarten classroom).

The volcano was the highlight of the year.

Annie and Mrs. Johnson. Annie loves Mrs. Johnson's beautiful hair and Mrs. Johnson loves Annie's spunky style.

Annie and Paulina on a field trip

The first thing Sam's teacher complimented him on when I met with her recently was how great Sam was doing at being a Big Friend to his kindergarten buddy, Henry.  So sweet!

The whole school made paper quilt squares to decorate the MPR for the school's 50th birthday.  Most kids had a happy drawing of themselves or themselves with friends.  Evan's was a little different.  I am wondering if he was told to draw what he thinks of when he thinks of school.

Sam's:

Annie's:

Evan's:

And lastly, the joy of Spring Portraits.  When did this become a thing?  We have a tradition of not putting any thought or special preparation into them and seeing how they turn out (and we are shamelessly cheap and don't buy them).

Things Kaci Can Do Better Than Me

Thirteen years ago, when we were still on our roll of celebrating each anniversary in a different city, Kaci and I moved to Kazakhstan. We didn’t just move there to find strange new cities for our anniversaries, although we did do that. We were there to work with college students. We taught English classes and quickly met lots of students. It was easy to start conversations in English with our students, to get through the basic greetings, but it was often difficult to keep the conversations going. We couldn’t understand them. They couldn’t understand us. They couldn’t find the words to say what they wanted to say. We couldn’t get across what we were trying to say. It was tiring.

I had ways to cope, though. I would smile and say, “Oh, ok” to something a student said, assuming (and hoping) it was just a statement that did not require a response from me.  When I asked a question but got no response from the student, I made some effort to be understood, but would quickly give up. If I could tell it was hard for the student and I was losing them, I would let the conversation die, telling myself that we at least gave it a try.

During those early days I came home to our flat one afternoon to find Kaci and a group of girls sitting and talking with each other. As I eavesdropped, I heard Kaci persevere in her conversations long past what I would have done or expected. When she couldn’t understand them, she did not bluff her way through, and she did not allow them to do so either. She made them repeat their words. She re-said what she wanted them to hear in different ways with different words until they understood. It drove me crazy. To my surprise, however, the conversations, and, therefore, the newly formed friendships moved slowly forward. The girls didn’t leave. They stayed. They came back again. More students came.  I eventually learned through Kaci’s example to persevere more with the students God brought my way, but to care for them and connect with them through the difficulties of language and culture in the ways Kaci did for two solid years was something I couldn’t do.

Kaci and some of her girls cooking and talking in our Kazakhstan kitchen

Since then, I have seen plenty of other things besides language that make it difficult to connect and communicate with others around us. Misunderstandings and laziness in our speech, aloofness, embarrassment, hesitations, and pride all keep us separated from each other. Kaci plows through those barriers with the people in her life with the same care and determination she used with her students in Kazakhstan. That is something she does better than me.

Sixteen years ago, standing in a Wal-Mart parking lot, I told Kaci that I wanted to marry her. It wasn’t the actual proposal. That would happen later. It was me telling her where I saw our relationship going. We had had some conversations earlier that week and agreed to share where we were at with each other that coming weekend. I thought I was pushing things when I jumped the gun by a couple days in that parking lot, but after much prayer and thinking I had finally figured things out! I told her we could still wait until the appointed day to have our official conversation on the matter, but she replied, “No, that’s ok. I know what my answer is now. I’ve known for months.” Kaci has always been way ahead of me in the relationship department. I had wanted to be with her for probably as long as she had wanted to be with me. I just didn’t know it. I didn’t yet see what was happening between us. She knew, though. She saw how close we were becoming. She saw how we were entrusting ourselves to each other and caring for each other. She was also wise enough to wait for me to catch up (with help from her, some friends, and God’s Word). I am having a difficult time expressing what it is exactly that Kaci can do that I can’t, but I suppose part of that difficulty is due to my lack of understanding of what it is she does exactly. She sees things in relationships that I don’t see, or she at least sees them way before I do. When Kaci shares these insights with me, I am often a bit stunned. They sound harsh to me when they concern a difficult situation, or even so clear and final concerning something good. I think to myself, “Let’s just wait and see.” It’s not that Kaci knows the future or employs some psychological theory to predict behavior. I think she just sees what is happening. If an argument is driving two people apart, she sees it driving them apart as it is happening. It usually takes me a few years. I’ll notice that so-and-so and so-and-so aren’t around each other anymore, then remember the huge fight they had, and then wonder if that might have had something to do with it. Also, if Kaci sees forgiveness drawing two people back together, if she sees a tragedy bringing someone grief, or if she sees a victory bringing someone joy, she sees it as it is happening. She is able to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice better than me.

Kaci and I dancing together... one of the many clues I missed

She also writes better than me. I have written my fair share, and as I get ready to start a PhD, I will be writing a whole lot more. I find my own writings tedious and unclear in places. I have to slow down as a reader and try to understand what was written. It usually doesn’t make sense because I didn’t really know what I was trying to say, or I was trying to say it in some clever or evasive way. (Side note: not really knowing what I’m saying, but nevertheless trying to say it in a clever and indirect way—sounds like I’m ready to start my dissertation!) I always enjoy reading what Kaci writes. She serves her readers well by making herself understood. She seems to know what she wants to say and is courageous enough to say it. I admire her for that.

I could say that Kaci throws parties and hosts events better than me, but that would be an insult. That would imply there was some basis for comparison between the two of us in this area. Instead, I will say that Kaci throws parties and hosts events better than most other people I know. She is so completely inefficient when it comes to throwing parties. She would never go for a “party in a box” because the parties she envisions for herself, her children, and her friends could never fit in a box. Some of us put on parties as if the purpose of the party is to get the party over with as quickly as possible, but not Kaci. She decorates and plans activities. She prepares food and works to get everyone fed and satisfied, but she does it all with a higher agenda in mind. She wants to draw people together.

Getting ready for one of many great parties we've had this year with international students and friends

Some of the guests at our Christmas party

Today, Kaci and I celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary. Looking back through her blog, I noticed she had written posts on some of our anniversaries. I thought I’d steal the opportunity to write this year. During the early years of our marriage, Kaci and I struggled to figure out how to come together as two separate people, with different personalities, gifts, and desires. Over time, as the intensity of that struggle faded, as we became one flesh, I imagined the two of us were simply becoming homogenous, and that this was the ideal. I now see that God had something more for us. As we have had to die to ourselves in marriage, as we have allowed ourselves to become lost in the other, our distinctiveness as individuals has not been flattened. It has been heightened. This is certainly true of Kaci. She has put my needs ahead of her own countless times over the years. She has selflessly served me. Through her dying to self, through her sacrifices, I did not lose her. I gained her. I do not just have a wife who has become the same as me, who does things the way I would do them. I have a wife who can do so many things better than me, and I am thankful to reap the benefits. I love being at her parties. I love growing closer to others in her presence and building friendships with those she reaches out to. I love having someone who challenges me to say what I mean to say clearly.

Happy Anniversary!

Jeremy

Silliness, Sweetness, and the Super Bowl

Yogurtland.  Our family shoulda bought stock in this place when it opened.  Fun outing with the kids and silliness that might have gotten a little too silly.

Scarves, swords, and helmets.  And a sweet lunch date with daddy.

This is a scarf I got from the family of our
 Pakistani student, Adam.  Jeremy is underneath.

Annie wanted to have a tea party, so we did.  It was a success, and then every little girl who came wanted to have one of her own and it got a little out-of-hand.  We attended a lot of tea parties for a few weeks.

Annie set up a little table for Alice and Special Baby

We went to thrift stores to buy tea cups that the girls could take home as a favor.  Some of them were a little weird.

Sweetness!

Bread from around the world.  Yum!

Our international Super Bowl Party was so much fun!  

 We even had a half-time football game!  I don't even remember who played in the NFL version of the Super Bowl, but I know our teams were Russia/Iraq/Pakistan/USA vs. Russia/Kyrgyzstan/Belarus/USA.

Flagstaff

We took a trip to Flagstaff after Christmas to have some time to ourselves and see old friends.  It was good for us...so good.  It just always feels like going home to our people, even though "home" is a lot of places for us.  Jeremy really loves the mountains (well, we all do--I don't know what we're going to do in the flat Mid West!) and he also has his best friend in the world in Flagstaff--Jason.  We stayed at Jason and Mariah's house/iHouse Flagstaff (where they house international students).  They are always so generous with us and let us stay for free when there are empty rooms!  It's like our own personal hotel :)  with some of our best friends living next door.  We also got to see quite a few other friends...and I guess I didn't take too many pictures because there's no way to capture what "catching up" with old friends feels like in a photo.  It just makes the heart feel warm.  I enjoyed time with Jason and Mariah and also was able to be near my close friend, Christy, and her family as they mourned the loss of her husband, Joe's, youngest brother.  It was a special time.

Knowing that there was an impending snow storm the night we pulled into town, I drove to the local Walmart and elbowed my way through the crowds to grab the last few winter clothes items in (mostly) the appropriate sizes.  It felt like everyone was getting ready for Y2K with all the empty shelves and frantic shoppers.  Weather is so exciting, So Cal peeps!  

One night was so cold that the snowflakes sparkled in a way I'd never seen before.  It was amazing!  

I don't even have a fancy-pants camera and my fingers were frozen, but look at these snowflakes--Amazing!

Icicle Warriors of Destruction Gang

So I took my kids and Jason and Mariah's oldest, Carli, outside to sled and it was cold and I gave my gloves to a fussy kid and there was a hyper dog who kept jumping in front of the sled and I kept having to slide down the hill to help bring the sled up and it was sort of totally stressful and bone-pain cold and then the little girls were like, (in their sing-song voices) "We wanna build a snowman" and it was kind of like a nightmare because I just wanted to go inside and get warm.  The snow wasn't mold-able--too cold--but they insisted, so I found some ice clods and threw them together and was like, "Here's your snowman.  You satisfied?" and they were like (sing-song/whiney) "He needs eyes" and I was praying that God would provide something quickly that I could use for eyes and then "Okay, there!  Let's go inside!"  and then "He needs a mou-outh!"  Oh my goodness, I slap a stick on there and turn toward the house.  Pause.  "He neeeeeds a carrot no-ose!"  and then I lost my stuff and was like "NO!  No carrot nose!  We're going inside.  You are making impossible requests for me and my hands are frozen and look at all that I've done for you!"  And they just sort of blinked up at me, sighed, and waddled back to the house behind me.  Not sure I'll be asked to babysit in blizzard conditions again.

We found the world's largest snowball at the park, thanks to some bored teenage boys on Winter Break.

iHouse balcony.  What a view!

Mountains, oh how we love thee!

I always love seeing these two guys together.  Except when I'm within earshot and can hear them coming up with some hair-brained idea.  Some things never change.

These two grown men found way too much joy in clobbering two little boys with snowballs!

The boys fought back valiantly.

Here's a video of poor children trying to escape the onslaught of snowballs by grown men some of the action:

This girl and her snowmen.  I declared I wouldn't help this time but then of course I came out and helped her find a hat and arms because I am a sucker for putting a face on inanimate objects.   

We had many sweet moments inside warm houses spending time with warm people.  Here's Sam and Jason and Mariah's middle child, J.J.